Don't cry for me next door neighbor

Friday September 11^th

11:30am

Dear Journal-

I’m supposed to be working right now but how am I supposed to work when I slept with someone I should NOT have slept with? RIDDLE ME THAT.

Let me back up to Taco Night…

After three too many drinks, and one too many renditions of Chumbawamba’s I Get Knocked Down, I was smart enough to call it a night (the only intelligent thing I did). And Big G was nice enough to offer to walk me back before his gallant older brother insisted that he was the one to escort me home.

The two of them shared a glance I didn’t recognize. It was probably some secret sibling code or whatever.

Anyway I walked back with Gigantor’s older brother Larry (oh that’s right…did I not mention Gary’s older brother is Larry? Yes named by their mother Carrie and father Barry. Marie told me while the guys were getting us drinks, apparently they’re not big fans of their family’s name).  He had me laughing the entire walk.

We stopped at my stoop and there was a definite moment. Either that or the alcohol was totally screwing with me. Larry’s mismatching brown and green eyes squinted at me the way my old boyfriend Ted’s used to when he was about to kiss me…except his was a little cross-eyed.

He leaned in and I leaned out. It sort of looked like that shimmy move they did in Grease at the carnival scene on that back and forth machine (you know exactly what I’m talking about).

Why did I do this? The same reason why I love dunking pretzels in cream cheese…because I’m wired that way. I don’t kiss taken guys. It’s not my style.

Larry was not a fan of my Olivia Newton-John impression and decided to have another go, in case I misunderstood what he was trying to do before. I pushed him away but his leather jacket was slippery so I didn’t have traction and wound up falling into him.

The next three things sort of meshed together so I’ll say it the way it seemed hetriedtokissmeGigantorshowedupandlongstoryshorthewokeupinmybed.

I know…. Stop judging.

More to come when my boss isn’t walking by-

Girl who needs to buy a lot more concealer or some new scarves.