Monday September 7th
10:31 pm
Dear journal-
So my neighbor, Marie, has stopped by three times to remind me of the specials going on at the Taco Bar, I’m not kidding, I couldn’t make that up if I tried, it’s a lesbian bar called the Taco Bar. And the insects I mentioned before, turned out to be mice because the moment I closed my eyes to go to sleep on my squeaky (and I’m pretty sure mold ridden) Murphy bed, I stared right into Mickey’s eyes and probably broke his little eardrums and the sound barrier, with my scream. I know it was loud because my landlord Gigantor came in and asked, in only his tank top and boxers, what all of that ‘hullabaloo’ was about. The guy was no more than thirty and talked like an old man from 1940’s Brooklyn. I decided to tell him just that and he did not find it amusing, so much so that he refused to believe I had a mouse problem until he saw the actual mouse.
In a fit of rage I put on my winter mittens and took a shoebox and literally squatted on top of my bed, ready to pounce like a falcon onto Tom, Jerry style. I was perched for like a half hour before he scurried across my “wood” floors. With an Amazon cry, I leapt and caught the thing.
I’m about to present this little gift to my gracious landlord. I even made a nice bow around it in toilet paper. Ha!
Now if only I can sneak downstairs without alerting Marie “Lady Taco”.
Wish me luck-
Twenty-four and still wearing the mittens
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